Entangled in Love


From the moment I met Daniel, the attraction was strong. He seemed to demand it as he stared deep into my eyes and told me how wonderful I was, piling on the affection with pretty little words of love and how we were so lucky that we met each other. Charming and good-looking, I couldn't resist. At the time, I had no idea of what a sociopath was or that they even existed. It started with love-bombing. He came on strong, insisting that we were meant to be together. Our first encounters were very intense. He would implore me to look deep into his eyes and seem to want to possess me. I mistook this for longing and desire. It felt good to be wanted. I became addicted to his tone of sexy voice and macho mannerisms. He’d make me laugh whenever he spoke in a fatherly tone of voice.
In the first 3 months, I wasn't aware that the narcissist faked the whole relationship. I relished in the idealization period, the proclamations of soul mate love, the promises, the declarations of being the first woman who touched his heart, the best thing that ever happened to him and his future woman. I wanted to believe it, so I did.

Once I felt totally connected to him, he divulged things about his childhood that made me ache for him. I was truly flattered that he trusted me enough to tell me such deep secrets and vowed that I would never hurt him. He played the victim, time and again to make me feel bad for him. I actually felt an obligation to take care of him and gave freely, my time, love, and money.

I was fooled by his upbeat greetings and funny statements. He had a knack of getting me to do things that were not in my best interest, often twisting my emotions and subverting my thought processes until he got what he wanted. Even when I knew something was wrong, I kept heading toward the fire. Finding it hard to pinpoint his abuse, I walked around in a fog. During this period of disorientation, I functioned on automatic pilot, mindlessly engaging in his behaviors for fear of causing a rift.

That’s when fear stepped in. There were times when he created stress and anxiety and just when I thought the relationship was coming to an end, he’d turn around and give me relief. Carrots and sticks. If I was a good girl, he dangled the carrots, although I rarely got to taste them. When I was bad, he punished me by backing out of something he promised or becoming untouchable. Holding onto his love, I couldn't bear losing this great partner, so I had a hard tine remembering all the soul wrenching pain he put me through.
I’ve learned now, that they were all manipulative tricks to make me doubt the way I was feeling and overlook his lack of affection.

Now, Prince charming makes sweeping declarations of love to a new target. Even though I know this is nothing but smoke and mirrors, my self-esteem is on the floor.

I have beaten myself up for months. If I'm not doing it, other people are... I knew the spath wasn't good, but I stayed anyway. There was no sex, but when he put his arms around me at night, it seemed to be all I needed. He called it comfy. I write about it in my book, Entangled.


After reading an article on lovefraud.com, I know now, there was a reason for my reluctance to leave.



For More Information go to http://www.lovefraud.com/2014/11/24/why-relationships-with-sociopaths-are-so-addictive/

2 comments:

  1. In the first 3 months, I wasn't aware that the narcissist faked the whole relationship. I relished in the idealization period, the proclamations of soul mate love, the promises, the declarations of being the first woman who touched his heart, the best thing that ever happened to him and his future woman. I wanted to believe it, so I did. Holding onto his love, I couldn't bear losing this great partner, so I had a hard time remembering all the soul wrenching pain he put me through. Now, prince charming is makes sweeping declarations of love to a new target. Even though I know that this is nothing but smoke and mirrors, my self-esteem is on the floor.

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  2. I found this great article which exposes how a sociopath can sneak into your life. In my book, Entangled, Daniel was someone who Natalie knew from High School. She instantly felt a connection to him an trusted him with her heart, her home, and her money.

    http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/relationship-with-a-sociopath.html">Relationship with a sociopath - how would you know?

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