Entangled Interview by Florence St John

Interview on LoveFraud - Why I wrote Entangled

1.      What is a Sociopath?
The official definition of a sociopath is a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or a social conscience.

2.      How did you meet Daniel?
Recently divorced, I was on the rebound, lonely and vulnerable. I knew him from high school. He seemed safer than dating some strange man.

3.      What made you fall in love with Daniel?
When I first met him, it seemed like a dream come true. He was charming and funny. With dramatic displays of affection, he called and texted constantly, trying to convince me of his love.

4.      When did you realize there was a problem?
When I first learned there were other girls in his life, I thought that they were the ones perusing him. After all, he was such a great catch. Jealousy is a perfect shackle. I began feeling possessive and didn’t want to lose him. Now he had me where he wanted me…on the run for his love.

5.      Why didn’t you leave?
Daniel was a master manipulator. He chipped away at me, piece by piece until I was addicted. His biggest ploy was what he called “comfy” Every night he’d wrap his arms around me, giving me a false sense of security. As soon as he saw me retreating, he’d say something to draw me back. Even when I didn’t want to play his games, I felt compelled, wanting to believe he truly loved me.

6.      What made you lend him money?
At the time, I believed we were a couple. He was in trouble and I wanted to help him. He used his financial problems as an excuse for his lack of passion. I thought that, if I got him on his feet, things would go back to the way they were in the beginning. Instead, they got worse, but by then, I didn’t want to walk away from the money he owed. I guess I hoped to get it back. As long as I was useful to him, he stayed close. When I ran out of money, he made an excuse to move back to the New York where he owned a house and had two small children. That gave him the perfect exit.

7.      What did you do when he left?
He knew I wanted to be in Florida, but insisted I could go back with him if I wanted to. Suddenly, he began to blame me and said that I had a choice to live with him. It didn’t seem like a good choice. For over a year, we spoke on the phone. It was the only connection we had, but the conversations became more distant. It was a string of good morning, how are you, good night phone calls. Out of his control, I began to detach. Once I realized he would never give me the love and affection I desired and that I would never get back the money he owed me, I wanted to let go. However, every time I tried to break up with him, he’d twist my emotions in a knot and talk me out of it.

8.      How did you finally get away?
After months of research about sociopaths, I learned that the only way was NO CONTACT! This has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. I found a local support group and explored the reasons why I let this happen to me. I discovered that I am a codependent. Knowledge is power and I’m getting stronger every day. I’m writing a sequel to my book, Entangled. It’s called the Goose and the Gander, Recovery from a Sociopath.

9.      What should one do if they suspect that they are involved with a sociopath?
Get educated on the subject. There are plenty of websites and blogs that will guide you. Knowledge is power. Most importantly, forgive yourself if you have been tricked by a sociopath. You are not stupid—just a trusting empathetic person who does not deserve to be treated badly.

Some excellent websites are: Lovefraud.com, Dating a sociopath.com, and selfgrowth.com

Please check out my book, Entangled by Florence St. John
Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and can be ordered through all Bookstores

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